Dear Grace,

I am a  college student living in a dorm with one roommate.  My problem is simple:  I buy rather expensive product for my hair and skin, and my roommate feels entitled to use them.  I wouldn’t mind if she did this occasionally, but it happens every day.  She is a great roommate in all other respects, and I don’t want to hurt her feelings. But her use of my products is terribly annoying and upsetting.  Do you have any suggestions?

Dear Gracious Reader,

Thou Shalt Not Borrow One’s Products should be the eleventh commandment.  Alas, it is not, so you’ll have to handle this situation in a friendly but upfront way.  You might suggest to your friend that you’re glad she likes your shampoos and scrubs, but they are pricey… would she mind contributing to the cost?  You could offer to take turns when stocking up on essentials.  If she is particularly thick, or just plain cheap, invest in a small safe and lock up your L’Oreal when you’re not around.  Or you could consider the price of your product as a small one to pay for an otherwise worry-free roomie.

Graciously Yours,

Grace

Dear Grace,

I am in my 20s and many of my friends are getting married.  While I am thrilled to be invited to these happy occasions, the cost of wedding gifts coupled with shower gifts, is breaking my budget.  And do you have to buy something from the couple’s gift registry, or is it OK to select something else you think they would like?

Dear Gracious Reader,

While it’s an honor to be invited to celebrate a couple’s wedding, it is not a requirement to break the bank while doing so.  There are several helpful shower and wedding etiquette books and websites to help you navigate wedding waters, but there are some basics Grace can share with you.  Since it is considered impolite to invite guests to more than one shower, attend one event and send caring cards to the others.  Wedding registries are popular places and make selecting a gift simple, but if you have an imaginative idea for a gift, by all means, go for it.  You are invited to share a momentous occasion with a friend… a friend who would not want you to go into debt with your gift.  Stick to your budget and select it with a caring heart.  Gifts given with love are the best to receive.

Graciously Yours,

Grace

Dear Grace,

Recently I was attending an art gallery opening with friends.  I thought the art displayed was just awful, while my friends were gushing with praise.  Should I keep my critical view to myself, or speak up when I disagree?

Dear Gracious Reader,

Many times we are asked our opinion.  Often the ones asking are simply looking for confirmation that their art, room decor, babies or Aunt Edna’s glass animal collection are wonderful to behold.  These times are quite different when you are asked for your thoughts on world politics, religions, or directions (especially if you are asking a man!), or the weather.  When faced with the dilemma of whether to spill your guts or go along with the group, remember, it is usually wiser to be kind than to be honest.  While gushing is certainly not required, it shouldn’t be too hard for someone with the intelligence to read my column to conjure up a few selected bits of kind words.  On the other hand, if you possess a poison pen or sharp tongue, start an advice column!

Graciously Yours,

Grace

Dear Grace,

All of my friends are joining Facebook and social networking websites and I’m simply inundated with “friend requests.”  Do real women (and men) use social networking, or is it best left alone?

Socially Unsure

Dearest Gracious Reader,

There is a sea of social networking opportunities these days,  and navigating  shark-infested waters can be a difficult thing for ladies and gentlemen to do.  How does one keep the proper proportion of privacy while maintaining a friendly yet genteel air?

One must be careful of those friendly fishermen… you know, those overly-familiar folks who send friend requests to everyone they’ve ever encountered.  Then there is the issue of family, both blood and inherited.  Do you really want them seeing your personal computer comings and goings?  Worse yet, do you want them to respond to your remarks, thereby practically forcing you to respond in kind?

Solving these situations is simple, my dears, but as in most things public, it will require reserve and restraint on your part.  Should you favor Facebook, submit to My Space, lust for LinkedIn, or pine for Plaxo, remember that less is more.  Photos should be flattering and leave much to the imagination.  Status updates, besides reflecting good taste, should be fun and fanciful.  Refrain from the unrefined comments and remember, vulgar is never vogue.  If you’re not comfortable with the world reading it, don’t post it.

One last word to the wise… postings and photos take on a life all their own once placed in the strange and glorious world of cyberspace.  Once online means forever in time.  So keep your senses about you and your sensibilities in check while you enjoy the world of online communication.  And remember to sit up straight while you type!

Graciously Yours,

Grace